In Angel Di Maria, Manchester United are signing some (albeit extortionately priced) icing. The problem is, the cake beneath the Argentine winger is a crumbling, gooey mess.
Yes, the 26-year-old is one of the best players in the world in his position, but while he is capable of getting bums off seats, he's not a miracle worker. He won't instil confidence and composure to an erratic, nervous defensive unit that treat possession of the ball like children at a birthday party playing a game of pass the parcel.
Ditto the midfield pairing of Tom Cleverley and Darren Fletcher, both of whom were outclassed at the Stadium of Light yesterday afternoon by Lee Cattermole. Will his presence tempt Antonio Valencia to use his left foot? No chance. And as quick as Di Maria is, he won't speed up the one-paced and all too predictable striking partnership (if you can call it that) of Wayne Rooney and Robin van Persie. He also cannot pass the ball to himself.
Rightly, United supporters are excited by the prospect of Di Maria wearing the number seven shirt. That hasn't put off opposition fans, who have, understandably, both mocked and questioned in equal measure the fee of £63.5m. But as Gary Neville has rightly identified, for reasons that they only have themselves to blame, United have lost their bargaining position.
Would Real Madrid have demanded such a hefty price tag for a player that they wanted off their books had a) United chief executive Ed Woodward not amateurishly boasted that the club could break the world transfer record and b) not finished in seventh last season and started the current campaign with a return of one point from a possible six? Probably not. Don't forget, after Paris Saint-Germain bolted, it was a one-horse race for Di Maria's signature – United should have held at least some of the aces during the negotiations.
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Regardless of the outlay, what cannot be argued is that United are signing a world star. His arrival, though, is akin to that of Juan Mata's for £37m back in January. Players of that calibre are always welcome, of course, but they are a luxury that are ideally recruited to add the X-factor to solid, yet efficient foundations.
United's signing of Eric Cantona in November 1992 is a prime example. With the likes of Peter Schmeichel, Gary Pallister, Steve Bruce, Paul Ince and Mark Hughes already at the club, the template was in place, with Cantona providing the gloss. The result was that a side that had disastrously surrendered the title to Leeds United the season before went on to win the Premier League four times and two FA Cups in the next five years. Today, Chelsea will be hoping that their acquisitions of Diego Costa and Cesc Fabregas have a similar impact.
Patently, Di Maria, like Mata before him, is joining a squad of players that is nowhere near that level and are shadows of the teams that both of them departed to sign on at Old Trafford. Di Maria should improve the situation, but he won't transform it. United do lack pace, guile and trickery in the final third - all qualities that Di Maria will provide, but there are more pressing needs.
Would United have been better off spending the Di Maria funds on an experienced defender or two and a midfielder capable of holding his own in a battle? The sensible and perhaps less exciting answer is yes. After all, that would have at least installed some reliable infrastructure because at present, even the division's so-called lesser sides believe that United are there for the taking.
Newly-promoted Burnley, who have lost their first two encounters back in the Premier League, with justification, will have that mindset drummed into them by Sean Dyche next weekend. Why would they play any other way against the 20-time champions of England?
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The money, it would seem though, has been set aside for Di Maria, yet there is still time for the club to go some way to rectifying what has been the second badly-managed summer transfer window in succession.
Louis van Gaal has set tongues wagging by name dropping Arturo Vidal twice during his post-match interview responsibilities on Sunday. The Chilean midfielder would alter the complexion of a toiling midfield, inserting some much needed dynamism, desire and aggression. Nigel de Jong is a downgraded alternative to the Juventus midfielder, but he does represent an improvement nonetheless.
On the face of it, defensive options appear to be thin on the ground throughout Europe. If the level of funds that Woodward has previously stated are genuinely available, making Borussia Dortmund an offer that they cannot refuse for their newly-appointed skipper Mats Hummels would not be an absurd route to take. Daley Blind, of Ajax, would also provide good versatility.
Conducting such dramatic business with just seven days before the window slams shut may be the equivalent of a forgetful husband dashing to the petrol station for flowers on Valentine's Day, but just as said husband needs to avoid being made to sleep on the sofa, United are a team in dire need.
Only when the necessary signings are made will Di Maria truly thrive.
