Putting on the best Bjorge Lillelien impression possible: "Willy Brandt, Franz Beckenbauer, Helmut Kohl, Gerhard Schroder - can you hear me? Your boys took a hell of a beating!"
Germany didn't lose World Cup qualifiers at home. It simply wasn't the done thing. In fact, when England made the trip to Munich in September 2001, Die Mannschaft had lost just one qualifier in front of their own support. That was way back in 1985 to Portugal when the Germans (then West Germany) had already qualified for the next year's World Cup.
The hosts were also buoyed by their victory at Wembley earlier in the qualification process, which was the last international to have been played at the stadium in its former guise.
© Getty Images
It was a defeat that forced Kevin Keegan to throw in the towel, in a toilet cubicle of all places, and after a brief caretaker stint at the helm for Peter Taylor, the Football Association handed the job to Sven-Goran Eriksson - the first foreigner to take charge of England. The Swede's arrival brought with it an almost immediate upturn in results, with a defeat to the Netherlands at White Hart Lane the only blot on his copybook in six outings.
Such form meant that England arrived in Bavaria three points behind their hosts, but the odds were still firmly stacked against them. After all, the Three Lions had not returned from Germany with a victory since Southampton's Terry Paine scored the only goal of the game in 1965.
So, when Carsten Jancker put the home side in front with just six minutes on the clock, those fans that had made the trip could have been forgiven for being swallowed up by a sinking feeling. Despite having a height disadvantage, Oliver Neuville beat Rio Ferdinand and Sol Campbell in the air to find his striker partner, who prodded past David Seaman. Game over? Not quite.
© Getty Images
The number 13 may be unlucky for some, but it was vital minute for England. Referee Pierluigi Collina awarded the visitors a free kick on the left flank, which skipper David Beckham sent into the penalty area. Steven Gerrard, who had been a fitness doubt, kept the move alive by hooking it to Gary Neville. The Manchester United defender nodded the ball back into the danger zone for Nicky Barmby, who repeated Neville's trick to catch out an advancing Oliver Khan. That teed up Owen, who got his leg up to an awkward height to equalise.
Sebastian Deisler should have restored Germany's lead soon after, but he somehow failed to find the target with the goal at his mercy.
The full importance of that miss would be realised in first-half stoppage time thanks to Gerrard, who had never previously scored in England colours. Ferdinand cushioned a header from Beckham into the Liverpool midfielder's chest and having allowed the ball one bounce, he proceeded to drive it into the bottom corner of Khan's net from 25 yards out. Cue a celebration that he would go on the perfect time and again in front of The Kop.
© Getty Images
After that start to the match, the England fans inside the Olympiastadion were understandably joyous. Three minutes after the restart, though, they would be in dreamland.
Beckham again was involved, picking out Heskey, who had worried Germany all evening with his physical presence. He headed the ball into the path of his Liverpool teammate Owen and although his strike was not the most powerful, it caught out Khan at his near post.
The Liverpool connection was again beneficial in the 66th minute as Gerrard gained possession in the Germany half, before rolling a pass through for Owen. From there it was all about the striker's pace, as he drove away from the home side's rearguard to lift the ball over a helpless Khan to complete his hat-trick. Anything Sir Geoff Hurst can do...
© Getty Images
Then it was time for the cherry on top of the England cake. With 16 minutes left, Paul Scholes broke from deep and in turn the Man United midfielder sought out Heskey, who bore down on the German goal. The outcome resulted in the England faithful singing for years: "5-1, even Heskey scored".
Talking of songs, without Heskey's intervention, Ant and Dec's 'We're on the Ball' for the 2002 World Cup would have included alternative lyrics, so be thankful!: "A nation reunited and England comes alive. Golden Balls is captain and Heskey makes it five!"
Looking back on that success with the Daily Mail, England boss Eriksson once said: "When it went to 3-1, we started to realise this was going to be a good night. We looked very, very good on the counter-attack. Every time we got the ball, we were very dangerous. Michael Owen was fantastic, of course, but who didn't play well that night? Paul Scholes and Emile Heskey played very, very well.
© Getty Images
"On the bench, we were looking at each other and smiling. We didn't say much. I was biting my lip and wondering, 'Am I dreaming?' It should be almost impossible to beat Germany 5-1 in Germany. It was one of those nights when everything went right for us and a lot of things went badly for Germany."
But the last word can only go to one man. No, not hat-trick hero Owen, but Heskey. So often a figure of ridicule during his international career, the frontman, as Eriksson highlighted, put in a fantastic performance.
"I was just happy to get the last goal. It was a massive game and there had been a massive build-up after everything that happened with them beating us 1-0 in the last game at the old Wembley. It was a great night. It was always an honour to pull on an England shirt but going to Munich under such pressure and coming away with a result like that, it has to be one of my most memorable moments," he also told the Daily Mail.
Liam Apicella
