Ex-England spinner Monty Panesar has revealed that he has struggled with bouts of paranoia during his cricket career.
The former Sussex and Essex cricketer considered retirement after being released by the latter following a series of off-the-pitch issues and a dip in form.
The 33-year-old told The Guardian: "I was suffering from paranoid thinking. I was low on confidence, in denial and did not engage with teammates or coaches. The world felt against me and I gave over-the-top reactions to small things.
"When I felt unwell, it all felt quite intrusive and that helped me realise I had a problem. When what was previously normal in life became difficult, it made me realise all was not well with me.
"I was in denial and fear of others' negative judgement of me. I thought it was stronger to be silent and tough it out. But now I realise it's a strength to be honest and show vulnerability. I'm now in a calmer place and open to other people's thoughts and views. I feel sad that I was unable to build on friendships at the time but hopefully I can reconnect in future and people will understand why."
Panesar has 167 Test wickets in 50 matches for England, but has not been included in the national side since the 2013-14 Ashes series.
Sian Cowper
