So apparently it's around 30 minutes until BEYONCE O'CLOCK. I am drinking a vodka diet coke and feeling kind of guilty about it.
So far the Super Bowl
reminds me a lot of THIS: http://i796.photobucket.com/albums/yy241/celebritybug/mbiw69.jpg
I have just been told off for linking to a picture of Alexandra Burke...
Beyoncé's halftime show will last just 12 MINUTES, which means she's going to have to be ruthless with song selection. If Destiny's Child are making an appearance, K.Ro and Michelle are going to get 3 minutes max.
Time in New Orleans is 6.37pm so Blue Ivy should still be awake to watch the halftime show. "Today mommy's gonna play the Super Bowl..."
GET ON WITH IT BEYONCE IS WAITING
We are now in a "time out", which is like a dance break, but without the dancing, and less fun :-(
Can anyone else hear 'Halo' in the background? IS IT A HINT?!
This really is quite a lot of sport for a Beyoncé gig isn't it?
Memo from the boss: "DON'T MENTION THE PLAYERS' BULGES!"
Do you know what true athleticism is? Doing the 'Single Ladies' routine IN HEELS
Oh yeah, and singing at the same time too
I think if I could watch B's halftime show with anyone in the whole world, it would be Solange.
TBQH I'm not being asked to do this again next year...
Well done to everyone in the UK for staying up for the halftime show. If you're a bit shonky at work tomorrow, I hope you have understanding bosses. "I know, I know, it was Beyoncé..."
OH HURRY UP WE WANT TO HEAR LOVE ON TOP
"And that closes out the half..."
I'll tell you who won't be watching the halftime show... LeToya Luckett
Really craving a bit of 'Deja Vu' now TBH
Do you remember the first time you heard 'Crazy in Love'? I was driving in Wales and nearly CRASHED MY CAR
Four minutes till Beyoncé!!!
Beyoncé would look super hot in an American football costume, no?
One minute thirty till Beyoncé! Kelly Rowland has just knocked back a triple whisky for Dutch courage
God knows what Michelle Williams is on
HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Or yeah, maybe not just yet...
This is what is technically known as "filler"... think track eight on a Destiny's Child album
I MAY CRY
I wish I was one of those running people!
LOVE ON TOP!
Beyoncé is writhing on the floor. This is the best writhing I have ever seen.
Beyoncé's thighs look like Olympic GOLD
Beyoncé just did a slut-drop without even trying!
This is End of Time from her incredible last album '4'.
And remember she is doing all of this IN HEELS
Oooh we're going retro with 'Baby Boy'... will we get a Sean Paul cameo?
Jay-Z must have the worst case of blueballs ever right now
Destiny's Child are onstage and doing 'Bootylicious!'
Beyonce just let Kelly stand in the middle That is true class.
"Good morning Charlie..."
I reckon this is what Kelly wears on an average Sunday night to be honest
LET'S GET THE DESTINY'S CHILD VERSION OF SINGLE LADIES TO NUMBER ONE!!!
Beyonce just have Kelly and Michelle a shout-out... pure class, no?
"Where my ring at?" Please try to drop this into conversation tomorrow.
Beyonce is now doing 'Halo'. THIS IS NOT A DRILL
'Halo' sounds pretty good in a packed football stadium, no?
This is what is known in the business as "singing your tits off".
Her hair is like a lion's mane... wow
"Thank you for this moment. God bless y'all."
Well that was absolutely f**king incredible right?
Whatever the result tonight, let's not forget the important thing... Beyoncé reunited Destiny's Child and got them to sing 'Single Ladies'.
Is anyone else slightly out of breath from watching that?
In related news, Beyoncé just crashed Twitter.
When I go to sleep tonight, I shall be dreaming of Beyoncé, mainly hair and thighs tbh
I would have liked 112 minutes including the full Freemasons club mix of 'Ring the Alarm', but I guess there is a football match to finish...
OK so I'm done now. If you want to abuse me for my "frantic excitement" during this live commentary, I'm @mrnicklevine on Twitter. I'll see you next year for Katy Perry's halftime show.